National Burka Day Rallies in the House after Stunning Trial

In an effort to forge better acceptance of America’s Muslim population, American Muslim women have been given the chance to rally for a National Burka Day in the United States.

Various cities conducted focus groups on non-Muslim women, giving their towns the chance to hold a Burka Day to see what sort of effect the clothing article would have on the general population.

“When my Mom came down the stairs to make breakfast in that Burka, Dad flipped out. I never saw him cry like that before. He told my Mom he would buy her that Range Rover she always wanted if she never wears that thing again.”

“ Guys stare at my tits all the time when I first meet them,” reports a woman from a Chicago, IL with a natural DD cup, “when I showed up to work in a Burka, whattyanooo…the guys had nothing to look at, and actually said my name, offered to get me coffee and we had a conversation about me—taking off the Burka.”

“All that heckyll and jeckylling I always get on the way to the bus stop because I have to wear heels and a skirt to work…diffused by shock and confusion when I wore the Burka. The men stopped what they were doing and leered, but instead of whistling and making hand signals--respectful silence.”

“More like fear, horror and the end of the roving eye,” complains a Terry Clemens of Springfield, MO. “Burka’s don’t abuse women, Burka’s Abuse Men!!,” Clemens becomes irate, “when every woman I see looks like a formless blob of black fabric without a face, you better bet that fucks with your head!”

Tom Murray of Phoenix, AZ agrees “Jesus Christ!! Did anyone warn Us Men about libidinal Armageddon? Yesterday women were hot, dressing to show off their cleavage, asses -- you name it. How in the fuck did a piece of dark fabric turn hot girls into hovering ghost-freaks. I can’t look at any of them.”

The Burka seems to be so unpalatable to American men they will do anything to remove it.

“Our marriage had been on the rocks for months, I felt so taken for granted. Then I wore the Burka for 1 day..and my husband said he would try harder, because he felt what it would be like if I was…gone.”

“I threatened to wear the Burka for a week if my husband wouldn’t pay for my daughter’s private school, on day three, he wrote the check…”

The results of the Focus Groups were exactly the OPPOSITE of what social scientists predicted. Men in America were more offended by Burka’s than women.


“This Burka joke is seriously-- a blow below the belt, “ Joe Rufus of Trenton, NJ. If this holiday flies in America—I’m gonna lock myself in the bathroom with a stack of magazines the entire day- Fuck Burkas!”

“Shit ain’t funny man, my girl looks like a secret commando or something…I can’t get into it.”