Wall Street’s Theoretical Money Consumed by Large Hadron Collider?

US Treasury Chairman Hank Paulson, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, and US Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi emerged from the emergency Congressional meeting last Thursday 9/18/08 -regarding the economy’s “death spiral”- with true fear and confusion on their faces.

“This truly marks an unprecedented time in the capital markets, we will join non-partisan forces to carry out Mr. Paulson’s Proposal, ”repeated government officials.

Just a Casual Observation proposes the unprecedented government bailout of private investment banking in America- (Out of Failure-or for Power?) has its origins in a quiet but violent battle between…

Theoretical Nuclear Physicists- working for decades on the Large Hadron Collider and...
Theoretical Financial Mathematicians -working for decades in Wall Street Financial Institutions.

According to insiders outside of Capitol Hill, the Physicists sent Paulson & Bernanke a ransom note---totally unprecedented:

The game is up with your theoretical mortgage backed securities. The Large Hadron Collider’s proton rays have created black holes in the universe that sucked all the theoretical money on the planet into a toxic debt “Bucket.” Yes, we liken this fallout from your foolish reckless mortgage inventions to the 1986 meltdown of Reactor 4 at Chernobyl. Toxic radioactive debt permeating the financial atmosphere-- thanks to the black holes of the Large Hadron Collider, all the bogus value in the global mortgage markets has been sucked into another dimension.

Vanished! Lehman Brothers, AIG, Merrill Lynch, Collateralized Debt Obligations, Sub-prime lending, asset-backed paper, mortgage-backed securities, over-inflated stock values and credit default swaps. Yes, we at CERN saw our Large Hadron Collider access the financial markets at the speed of light-and almost obliterated Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs.

Physicists around the world are partying way underground. “Nuclear physicists have been working for decades on the Large Hadron Collider…and on our Big Opening Day we get upstaged by another Wall Street market crisis? Our discovery is way more profound!..AND Our Lingo is just as complicated, esoteric and indecipherable.”