Open Letter to Stephen Colbert and his Colbert Nation

To Whom It May Concern:

Please accept this document as a written demand letter from ourselves. We, Jill Jeannides and Melissa Weimer (hereinafter referred to collectively as “the claimants”), the sole creators, administrators, owners and distributors of the notorious online blog Just A Casual Observation .com (hereinafter referred to as “JCO”), write to you today in order to protect our (possibly silly, potentially non-legally binding) interests in JCO material.

You may have frightened off our shyster lawyer with your fancy legal mumbo jumbo online submission waiver, however, we are not deterred. Our claims are as follows:

(1.) Yes, we willfully and regrettably do admit that Claimant Jeannides did submit your waiver online with claimants’ submission material (hereinafter referred to as “JCO material”) through The Colbert Report website.

(2.) However, we argue that this waiver is in no way valid. Claimant Jeannides is very blonde and busty, and your waiver’s lengthy legalese confused her unnecessarily.

(3.) Claimant Jeannides’s urge to contact you with the brilliant (fact, not opinion) JCO material was so strong, she had no choice but to agree to your unconscionable contract. Therefore, we, the claimants, propose to throw out this waiver as nonbinding.


(4.) It has been brought to the attention of the claimants that The Colbert Report has aired material strikingly similar to the following topics/articles published on the JCO Blog.

(a) Sub-prime Mortgage Crisis : Press Protects America From Scathing International Opinion
(b) ADHD – Surveillance Camera’s Reduce Attention Deficit
(c) Iraq/Babylon – Western Civilization Class Has Revelation
(d) PETA – Vegetables Suffer As Much As Animals
(e) Thong Sandals – Evidence Everywhere: God Approves of Thong Sandals
(f) San Diego- Exclusive Interview with San Diego!!
(g) Detroit- DETROIT: French Buyout Considered
(h) Jesse Jackson/Obama Ball Chop- Reverend Jesse Jackson Projecting His Own Lack of Any Real Balls?

(5.) Results from Dial Testing Research shows that segments of the Colbert Report inspired by Just A Casual Observation evoke a hyperreal awareness and intent to view further episodes of The Colbert Report.

(6.) We, the claimants, feel cheated and heartbroken. Especially because we are of the female variety and are very demanding, we demand to be reciprocated.
We demand the following from The Colbert Report and Central Productions:

(a.) The Colbert Report will cease and desist from appropriating any further laughter resulting from Just a Casual Observation;

(b.) The Colbert Report will issue a written apology for these already stolen laughs on its website and issue a verbal apology on its show; AND

(c.) The Colbert Report WILL INVITE THE CLAIMANTS to be live guests on the program to showcase their brilliance, hilarity and physical hotness, as is their due.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

Jill Jeannides and Melissa Weimer

By reading this demand letter, The Colbert Report and Central Productions LLC hereby agree to all of its terms and conditions contained herein. All rights reserved by Just a Casual Observation © 2008.