KGB Issues Top 11 Mentality Differences Between Russians And Americans

The KGB and The US Department of Homeland Security released a statement to Just A Casual Observation in lieu of Russia’s sneaky invasion of Georgia…. confusing Americans during the Olympic Games by invading a Caucasus country sharing the name of once US deep south Caucasian-ruled State of Georgia.

Georgia, United States- Once the capital of the Confederacy, is now best known for its Peaches.
Georgia, Caucasus Region- Ex-soviet Republic- is now best known for its strategic capabilities: Mediterranean Port- Oil Pipelines...Northern entrance point for Russia into Iraq and Iran.

What happened to Russia winning Olympic Gold Medals?

Russia Changed their Strategy. They are thinking Big…

“We are not interested in small change like puny Olympic Gold medals… platinum metal mines and oil lines trump any sort of international athletic victory. All these years of dominating Olympic Sports has been a KGB Strategy to distract the World from our Real Intentions- which have nothing to do with succeeding in athletic competitions…we were simply flexing our muscles to the world, ” admits unsmiling Kremlin liaison Alexei Borovsky.



“In true Russian character, we have no remorse in defeating an opponent with physical strength, iron will, and a mastery of strategy. The Georgian invasion was so easy Our Troops Are Bored. This is why we are releasing the Top 11 List. Russian Troop Performance could suffer if they do not get more resistance in future invasions. We have rockets we can’t even fire! What a Waste of Potential!” informs Ilya Kuznetsov Russian Tank commander during the recent takeover of South Ossetia region.

Igor Blatnovitch a senior official comments in sly Russian wordplay, “We have many, many….many Russians in the United States. You Americans might call it espionage, we in the East- prefer to call it “Intelligence.” Because we see Americans are at such a disadvantage when it comes to figuring out Russian Intelligence….

KGB Issues Top 11
Mentality Differences Between Russians and Americans

#11
RUSSIANS: Superior Liars
AMERICANS: Superior Lawyers


#10

RUSSIANS: Want Ex-Soviet Republics Back
AMERICANS: Have no clue which countries are Ex-Soviet Republics

#9

RUSSIANS: Famine Survivors: Little Food for Overeating
AMERICANS: Surplus of Processed Foods and Consumer Culture Creates Society of Obese Overeaters

#8

RUSSIANS: Primitive Medical Technology yields:
2 Types of Russian: 1. Strong 2. Dead
AMERCIANS: Advanced Medical Technology preserves and sustains:
2 types of American: 1. Physically Weak 2. Physically Ill

#7

RUSSIANS: Education System :
Booming in Fields of: Advanced Math & Science
AMERICANS: Education System :
Booming in Fields of Special Education & Autism

#6

RUSSIANS: Love things Nuclear: Pollute Wherever Necessary
AMERICANS: Afraid of things Nuclear: Follow Green Eco-Policy

#5

RUSSIANS: Religious Revival Currently Used as Political Tool
AMERICANS: Religious Bashing Currently Used as Political Tool

#4

RUSSIANS: Intensity with Intention
AMERICANS: Intensity purposely lacking Intention

#3

RUSSIANS: Drink! Nostarovya! (to your Health)
AMERICANS: Drink! Binge! (to have Fun…and Puke soon thereafter)

#2

RUSSIANS: Acquiring International Oil Pipelines & Steel Mills
AMERICANS: Acquiring Olympic Gold Medals

#1

RUSSIANS: Why Smile? What’s So Funny?
AMERICANS: That’s So Funny! (Smile) Ha Ha Ha Haaaaa!!!