The Olympic Games in Beijing brought China into a media pre-eminence that reportedly has infuriated many of the“Chinese-Free Trade Militias” residing in reportedly 37 out of 50 US States.
“We have a lot of areas on the map on the verge of civilian rebellion,” claims 2nd Lt. Reggie Lewis “Our job is to make sure people do not boycott Chinese goods. My troop is on high alert in the California neighborhoods where houses are being foreclosed. We’ve been briefed that a majority of US manufacturing jobs and companies vanished from the American continent and mysteriously re-emerged in China…and …we are instructed to protect the public from 2 imminent threats: Vanishing and reappearing in a Chinese factory, and enforcing resentment-free purchasing of low-quality Chinese goods-Built to Break.“
The rise in “China-Free Trade” vigilante groups over the last 2 weeks has Pentagon officials, “consulting many meetings in small rooms,” insiders say. “There is much concern over Grassroots Movements that have been popping up in front of shopping malls across the nation distributing pamphlets titled: “How to Make Your Own Clothes and Grow Your Own Food”
Pamphlets have been confiscated by Westfield Mall Security in New York, Chicago, Minneapolis, St. Louis, Nashville, Atlanta, Charlotte, Tampa, Dallas, Denver, Phoenix, Las Vegas. San Diego, Portland and Seattle. All the pamphlets appear to come from a unified organization. Just a Casual Observation has been given special access to the Classified Vigilantes’ Platform:
1. Purchasing goods “Made in China” is analogous to an American endorsement of:
At worst Chinese slavery, and At best Chinese indentured servitude.
2. Children’s toys Made in China are poorly constructed and often tainted with lead. With all the increased security and metal detectors at the airports, how are these products getting into the United States?
3. The Ports of Hong Kong and Shanghai have been reported to be the largest distributors of illegal exports and illicit trade in all forms.
4. Have civilians been given adequate defense against the Chinese goods aggressively and uncontrollably flooding US markets from all possible directions? If so, do share..
5. Chinese Goods are “Made to Break” so Americans continually buy new things to replace the broken disposable items.
6. Awareness that a product has been “Made in China” most often occurs upon product malfunction. This pamphlet is suggesting that may be a little too late.
7. Chinese clothing is made to be worn and washed 4 times before falling apart in some way. A breakdown can be expected in Chinese-made garments after 72 hours of cumulative use. Wearers of Chinese goods should prepare for lost or damaged ornamentation, broken hems and seams, and highly compromised zippers and shoulder straps.
8. Zippers on Chinese goods may never consistently work. Luggage zippers last on average- 3 domestic journeys, or one round-trip international flight, before snapping or snagging in some inconvenient way.
9. The poor construction of Chinese factory-made goods and clothing (not to be confused with Hong Kong Master Tailors and Artisans) eventually require the American to have a Master Tailor on Retainer.
10. The other alternative currently available is to explore by ourselves how to fix our broken seams and busted chair legs. This desire to fix and possibly improve upon our broken sub-standard goods is the source of our inspiration to spearhead this New Radical American Agenda:
11. Make Your Own Things and Grow Your Own Food!!
12. Wall Street economists recently released figures that Chinese clothing isn’t actually cheaper for consumers over a 3 month interval-when the price for imminent repair is figured into the products’ discount rate.
Mall security across the nation will be on High Alert for persons or parties who possess the opinions as stated above regarding Chinese Trade’s effect on the American Economy.
Glossary:
Pre-eminence –Noun: Excelling above others especially in a particular quality; surpassing; Synonym- DOMINANT
Imminent- Adjective: Likely to happen without delay; impending; threatening; said of danger, evil, misfortune
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