Self-Defense for Dating, Lesson One

What to do when a man is attempting to film you or take a picture of you in a public place.
Ladies,
I think we can all agree on a few things. Dating today is dangerous! With modern day hazards like media (camera phones, facebook, blackberries), mandals (grown men wearing thong flip-flops and sandals), and the death of chivalry, we have a minefield to navigate.


Welcome to Self -Defense for Dating.

As a black-belt in TaeKwonDo and over all Martial Arts enthusiast with over 10 years of training (I just started Brazilian Jujitsu!), I have ample experience in the Art of Self-Defense. Adding to my formal repertoire, as a single woman of 30, I have real life experience to draw from as well!
I have dealt extensively with the following:

macho assholes who are tough

macho assholes who are actually pussies

drug dealers

drug addicts, drug fiends, and whores

guys who think that because they took karate when they were 6 that they are Bruce Lee and wanna prove it to me

gorgeous liars

manipulative lovers (fuckers)

insecure whiners

over-confident pigs

immature mamma's boys

and generally all manner of fuck faced jerk*


*might be worth mentioning here that I'm from Chicago

I am here to tell you the secret ingredient to Self-Defense - it's Offense!

In martial arts, like chess, there is the concept of the Perfect Move. The Perfect Move will be both Offensive and Defensive. The idea is to not only hold your ground and protect your position (Defense) but to simultaneously, wage an attack or gain ground (Offense).


Lesson One: What to do when a man is attempting to film you or take a picture of you in a public place. (without your consent)

In a recent incident a dear friend of mine noticed a man walking behind her at an odd pace. She was dressed for work (in a skirt and heels) heading home on the train. After glancing back a few times she realized that he was trying to take a picture up her skirt with his camera phone! Her shocked response - to run, casually, away from him.

Her response was Defensive. She defended herself by removing herself from the situation. It served her immediate need - eliminating his ability to film her. This Defensive response is OK, but this move does not advance her position. It does nothing to address her feelings of anger, shame and embarrassment, nothing to deter him from doing this again, (maybe to her!), and nothing to warn the public.


One option for the Perfect Move here is to Open Your Mouth!





As you remove yourself from the situation, point at him and Loudly say something like, "That pervert is filming me!".**


With this short exclamation you are achieving Many Offensive results. 1. You are putting that jerk on the defensive with your words and shaming him. 2. You are warning the surrounding public of a predator in their midst and 3. You become emotionally empowered instead of feeing ashamed, abused or taken advantage of.

**Be forewarned that all perverts will deny guilt. (you should be long gone by now but) Do Not Doubt Yourself! You know what you saw.


Another option for the Perfect Move would be to Strike His Phone/Camera.

(Amazing that there is more than one Perfect Move in many situations! Hooray!)

His phone will likely be in close proximity to you and, also likely, he will be gripping it awkwardly.


Recently, I was able to execute this move effectively. At a bar's outdoor patio a man I didn't know, with his camera phone pointed at me, made a comment about filming me. Though he was not attempting to view me in a (sexually) compromising way, I had not agreed to be filmed and did not know this individual. In this case the best strike was a kick. I was able to swiftly kick his hand with the phone. Before he knew what was happening I had knocked his phone from his hand and into the street where it came to rest under a car.

In this move Offense is the Defense.

The Phone Strike met my immediate need - eliminating his ability to film me. It also put him on the Defense, weakening his position, now he has no iPhone and a busted hand. Additionally, he will not come near me again.

At no point should you feel any guilt about a broken hand or a broken camera/phone. This is combat ladies and people get hurt! It's just the price of doing business.

Same move for the shameless passive aggressive: kick his phone, knock him down and smack him in the head with your hand bag, all under the guise of those pesky heels making you trip! Silly lady! (this move is best in a crowded and public place and must be executed when you have an available escape route.)


I highly recommend working out and taking a Self-Defense or Martial Arts class. With a little physical confidence you will feel more comfortable executing a strike. You will be amazed at its effective and empowering qualities.


So in review, search for the Perfect Move. Open your mouth. Strike.
Sometimes Offense is the best Defense.

That’s all for today.

Death of Michael Jackson Brings New Perspective to Deadheads

The Death of Michael Jackson at the age of 50 was shocking but not surprising. It is no secret famous musicians swear by their “Rock Doc’s”. (Doctors hired to travel and live alongside musicians in order administer and supervise hardcore drug habits).


The most successful drug-using Rock Stars are using the better doctors, for instance Keith Richards and Bob Dylan. Jackson, while gifted is unfortunately another case of a gifted musical performer who lost control of an advanced drug addiction.


But before Jackson will be admitted into the REAL Neverland, he has got to get past the Gate Security, which is reportedly swarming with Deadheads. These Deadheads will not let Jackson in, because, according to the Deadheads- Jerry Garcia did far more drugs and played thousands more shows than Jackson and STILL outlived Jackson by 2 years, making Jerry the Reigning King of Neverland. The Deadheads have blocked the entrance and Jackson is currently waiting in Pop Star Purgatory.

It has been revealed that both dead and alive Grateful Dead fans are far more dedicated to Jerry Garcia than Jackson fans are to Michael Jackson. There are more Deadheads then ghouls on Jackson’s Thriller video. Garcia played loaded to loaded stadiums for decades and the band toured up till the day Jerry died, and then they continued touring some more-playing to a subculture of hippie music fans.

Just A Casual Observation had the opportunity to interview a few Deadheads about this subject.

“DUDE, Jackson wussed out for 2 decades and got freaky, forgot about his fans, Jerry never did that, he steamrolled through the 70’s, 80’s, 90’s..on milkshakes, cheeseburgers and heroin, playing shows where he’d forget the lyrics, but his music never stopped.”

“Jerry didn’t really give a shit how he looked. Plastic surgeons and dermatologists was not how he got narcotic painkillers.”

“Jerry did sheets more acid then Michael-and he still played music. I mean, the point of the Dead is that the band improvises on a same group of songs. On the other hand, everyone expects Jackson to sound just like his highly processed albums. No wonder Jackson was ready to check out- 50 shows of the same song.”

“With the Inclusion of Jerry Band, the Reconstruction Period, and a Vault of 30 years of underground recordings of Grateful Dead Shows, Dead-icated fans have proclaimed Jerry Garcia the current King of Neverland and Michael Jackson is going to have to wait in the parking lot and hope for a Miracle.”

Summer Swimming Pools On High-Turd Alert

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Department of Health and Sanitation

Authorities in Southern California are informing residents “No Pool is Safe-Do Not Assume the Pool you are about to jump into is Turd-Free.”

It’s been brought to the attention of Just A Casual Observation that the Department of Health and Sanitation has been swamped over the last two weekends with a record number of complaints in Southern California--that people are leaving unrestrained fecal matter in the local swimming pools. Just A Casual Observation interviewed Los Angeles County resident, Holly McCarthy about her past weekends at the pool:

“I was visiting friends with my husband down in San Diego two weekends ago, where some little kid crapped in the pool. Unbeknownst to others, one father quickly noticed it was his son’s so he discretely swept it with his hands out of the pool and kept it on the down low. Only one other person besides us saw this. The others kept swimming with no idea they were sitting in a turd tub!"


They didn’t close the pool because there was no life guard or pool attendant.

JCO: Are you sure it wasn’t just a Caddyshack reenactment? A Baby Ruth perhaps?

“No, they looked more like little kid Whoppers than an adult chocolate candy bar. There were no laughs to be had since behind the scene dad was giving a spanking."

JCO: Was this an isolated incident?

“Absolutely Not. The next weekend back in Los Angeles-- in a totally different pool, the totally same incident occurred-so it seemed at first.”

JCO: Please, elaborate.

“At first it appeared to be another innocent kid turd when one of the victims sitting around the pool pointed out it was way too large to come out of a child’s ass. At this point all pool-goers agreed the proper authorities could use DNA to trace the turd back to the perpetrator. So we all did nothing to remove it to try to preserve the crime scene. So my neighbor and his girlfriend and friend just swam around as if they didn’t know it was there. The fools almost compromised the crime scene by stepping on an essential piece of evidence!”

JCO: Was the Perpetrator ever apprehended?

“The profile was determined to be a Male 15-85 in boardshort or some kind of unconventional swimsuit with no-lining. Authorities say he has now retreated South and is working the pools of Orange County. It was reported he left a trail along the coast. Long Beach had a sewage spill last week. Coincidence? ”

Using DNA and infrared sewer tracking , authorities are confident they will crack “Jack the Ripass” before the suspect hits the pools of San Francisco.

National Burka Day Rallies in the House after Stunning Trial

In an effort to forge better acceptance of America’s Muslim population, American Muslim women have been given the chance to rally for a National Burka Day in the United States.

Various cities conducted focus groups on non-Muslim women, giving their towns the chance to hold a Burka Day to see what sort of effect the clothing article would have on the general population.

“When my Mom came down the stairs to make breakfast in that Burka, Dad flipped out. I never saw him cry like that before. He told my Mom he would buy her that Range Rover she always wanted if she never wears that thing again.”

“ Guys stare at my tits all the time when I first meet them,” reports a woman from a Chicago, IL with a natural DD cup, “when I showed up to work in a Burka, whattyanooo…the guys had nothing to look at, and actually said my name, offered to get me coffee and we had a conversation about me—taking off the Burka.”

“All that heckyll and jeckylling I always get on the way to the bus stop because I have to wear heels and a skirt to work…diffused by shock and confusion when I wore the Burka. The men stopped what they were doing and leered, but instead of whistling and making hand signals--respectful silence.”

“More like fear, horror and the end of the roving eye,” complains a Terry Clemens of Springfield, MO. “Burka’s don’t abuse women, Burka’s Abuse Men!!,” Clemens becomes irate, “when every woman I see looks like a formless blob of black fabric without a face, you better bet that fucks with your head!”

Tom Murray of Phoenix, AZ agrees “Jesus Christ!! Did anyone warn Us Men about libidinal Armageddon? Yesterday women were hot, dressing to show off their cleavage, asses -- you name it. How in the fuck did a piece of dark fabric turn hot girls into hovering ghost-freaks. I can’t look at any of them.”

The Burka seems to be so unpalatable to American men they will do anything to remove it.

“Our marriage had been on the rocks for months, I felt so taken for granted. Then I wore the Burka for 1 day..and my husband said he would try harder, because he felt what it would be like if I was…gone.”

“I threatened to wear the Burka for a week if my husband wouldn’t pay for my daughter’s private school, on day three, he wrote the check…”

The results of the Focus Groups were exactly the OPPOSITE of what social scientists predicted. Men in America were more offended by Burka’s than women.


“This Burka joke is seriously-- a blow below the belt, “ Joe Rufus of Trenton, NJ. If this holiday flies in America—I’m gonna lock myself in the bathroom with a stack of magazines the entire day- Fuck Burkas!”

“Shit ain’t funny man, my girl looks like a secret commando or something…I can’t get into it.”

Poor Taste, Insatiable Appetite

Credit Crunch, Downturn, Soft Economy, Recession, Depression even?

I prefer the term New Economy.
“New” Economy – as in, “I’m re-gifting these books to you, I really enjoyed them. Happy Birthday, in the New Economy.”

Well don’t tell that to the strip-mall-loving, one-person-per-car driving, army of uninformed consumers who flocked to the new strip mall in my hood on its Opening Weekend. This janky intersection of Elston and Logan Blvd. is choking with eager consumers. Eurika! Logan Square is fast becoming a city hub for buying crappy furniture.



What are they looking for?!
Well, JCO wants you to know, they are looking for cheap, shitty furniture!
Something for their next winter Dibs spot I guess.



There seems to be no end to the demand for unstable, particleboard laminate furniture. This shit comes in 1-3 faux wood shades, as well as, white and black. Remember, do not move, slide, relocate, reconfigure, or over load this fine piece of craftsmanship. Do not leave pieces out of its construction.

Besides being hidious, this stuff can be down right dangerous. Incidents of TVs and furniture crushing kids to death is on the rise!
See Attached Article

Thank goodness! The Poor Taste masses and their Insatiable Appetite for crap furniture rejoice! At this corner you have/had no less then SIX Stores where you can find what you're looking for!




1. Ace Hardware – Not really a hardware store – a place to buy outdoor candles and overpriced lawn furniture. They had a bunch of useful stuff too, like vacuums and shower curtains but no one knew they had it. Plus they never had the hardware stuff I was looking for. - now bankrupt and replaced by...


2. Joann Fabrics “Superstore” – takes this space over in an upgrade from a smaller store front. They used to just have fabric, but now you can buy some shit furniture there too.



3. Harlem “room place” – Looks like a ghost town in the same rambling strip mall in a sea of parking on the southeast corner of this monster intersection.

Sarah L.
Chicago, IL
I'm kind of wondering if this place is next for bankruptcy. Just like Wickes that used to be across the street from this place…

Niki C.
Chicago, IL
Had to return the furniture because it broke within a week. When it did break, they sent someone out to fix it, but as he pulled apart the sofa, we both realized that the sofa was made with ... cardboard. Yes. Cardboard. He told me that it wasn't uncommon with Harlem Furniture.



4. Home Depot - Overpriced versions of all kinds of things including, you guessed it, "furniture".

Andrew J.
Oh god, I HATE Home Depot. It's like the center of the universe for morons to work at.

This brings us to the tragic tale of...

5. Wickes – because there is seemingly endless demand, Wickes erected a 60,000 sq foot monstrosity to house their new super store right there in the middle of it all.....too bad fot them they were open less then a year, maybe 6 months. Now just a tragic shell, a place for Halloween USA to set up for a few months a year.


6. Target

Yoko
Chicago, Il

Its pressed particleboard, a step up from Wal-Mart but not much. If you move it wrong it will chip or splinter.......
Ive had better luck with quality and durability with IKEA

and last but not least -

7. Home Goods
This place was PACKED on it's opening weekend.

Feed the masses!!!! Gobble it up. Horrible bedroom sets for $650.00. Don't miss out!



Unfortunately, like most things, you get what you pay for when it comes to furniture. And the shit just don't come cheap. The best way to get some good stuff these days is Old School - Garage Sale - there you can find dressers made out of (gasp!) Real Wood! With (amazing!) metal drawer pulls! One of the benefits of this Real Wood is that it can be sanded and re-stained, or re-painted and then RE USED, even handed down or re-sold.
It has VALUE.

NASA Study “From the Past” Finally Unclassified

The National Aeronautics and Space Administration could not prevent the information leak to Just A Casual Observation about the classified study they have been conducting on People “From the Past”. “NASA’s HP RX-9007 Nano-accelerator habitually materializes people from the Past. We know this because the people appear in black and white. This happened during the Kennedy Administration a few times and again last week at Kennedy Space Center.” confirms a NASA scientist who granted JCO a classified transcript, and remains anonymous.

This Group “From the Past” is quite opinionated about what they see in 2009.
“Last time I was here, all the people walked around moving smoking white sticks in and out of their mouths.


Now I see everyone has white wires coming out of their ears?"
And they look at little illuminated squares and talk to the square when there is a person right next to them? They talk to the square?"

“Yes, it is true. Everybody is looking at illuminated squares?”

“I can’t believe they fell for the paper money thing again? We humans sure do forget bad things fast. Wasn’t the global mess after WWI bad enough?”

“Here, here..not even a lifetime later. Belief in Credit - Realized as Fictional Value ”


The progressive devaluation of money became increasingly manifest. The neighboring states had substituted their currency for the old Austro-Hungarian notes…Soon nobody knew what any article was worth. Prices jumped arbitrarily; a thrifty merchant would raise the price of a box of matches 20 times the amount charged by his competitor, who was innocently holding yesterday’s quotation...People with wallets bursting with paper money were exasperated to find the scythe, the hammer, the kettle they were to buy had overnight risen 20 or 50 times in price.

Thereafter the people sought only to exchange merchandise for merchandise and demanded substance for substance. Substance, anything but money, became the watchword; people wanted goods instead of paper…Those who had wealth in the form of cash in a bank or government bonds became impoverished. A man who had debts became free of them. The very fact that what once represented the greatest stability—money—was dwindling in value daily, caused people to assess the true values of life-work, love, friendships, Art and Nature; and the whole nation lived more intensively and more buoyantly than ever-- despite the catastrophe; the collapse of money made us feel nothing was enduring except the eternal within ourselves.
(Zweig, Stefan, The World of Yesterday, Viking Press, Inc. 1943. pp. 289-91)

“Ah Yes. The End of the Hapsburg Rule..800 years, and all those Austro-Hungarian countries got swallowed up by Communism. “

“Sneaky group those Communists.”

“The KGB sold all their Social Control techniques to the Americans. Surveillance Cameras, Global Positioning Systems, Satellite Cameras, Numerical Identification Citizen Surveillance ,
Fear-Your-Neighbor Propaganda— All Recycled Iron Curtain Crap.”

“Is that why they talk to those illuminated squares now?“

“No, they are playing “Insect” ..talking to each other with antennas. And flying around at absurd life-threatening speeds in rolling metal capsules..do they have any idea how fast they are going?"


“Somehow when they fly around they forget ---Terrifying! One wrong move and…smoosh..like an insect against a glass window.”

“Is that why they are always consulting with the illuminated square?"

“I think it’s to make sure they are safe and important while they are speeding around in the rolling metal capsule.”

“ Perhaps, my opinion is these over-mechanized 2009 humans are trying to be in 2 -3 places at once. Where they are-- and somewhere else…and oftentimes moving towards a third point… the preoccupied over-stimulated lack of focused attention…going 75 mph in a metal capsule is their way of pretending they are not vulnerable organic creatures, but machines… operators of machines!”

“Yes! Sort of how religious fervor was once the Enlightenment of the Age, now this age 2009 believes that Machines are the source of Enlightenment.”

“Machines made by people are better than people.. Smarter and more creative than the human mind.. ”

“Oh Dear… that hasn’t changed since 1945. Humans trying to conquer rather than accept their natural organic limitations… nothing new..usually a toxic byproduct--take NASA for example, all that attention and money spent on sending humans beyond breathable atmosphere fueled a machine that influenced Weapons Development, Computer Science Development, Money Engineering, Mass Culture Social Control, Culture Industry, Advertising Propoganda,Interactive Marketing..Mulitmedia Conglomerates...Disney..Warner Brothers, Viacom, Nokia, Starbucks. Completely constructed culture, these people of 2009 live in a manipulated-highly integrated consumer machine."

“Is that why the people stare at moving screens and illuminated squares instead of at each other?”

It's F'ing Golden - The Audacity of Greed

Please welcome Guest Observer, Jessica Cook.

Jessica has contributed to JCO before. She works behind the scenes as legal advisor, in-house counsel, typo spotter and copy editor (for the Missy half of JCO). She’s a lawyer packed with lots of Gonzo advice, like "As your attorney, I advise you to have another drink", and famously, “DON’T BLOW!” Jessica is a former Capitol Hill intern, a part-time model, walking TV Guide, sometimes fashion stylist and an overall smarty pants know-it-all.



It's F'ing Golden - The Audacity of Greed
Part 1
As most of you know there has been quite a bit of nasty publicity for Illinois Politicians of late. Though the “Land of Lincoln” is basking in the glow of its native son, President Barack Obama, we can’t help but be a little embarrassed about family secrets that have recently come to light. The world media’s spotlight caught former governor Rod Blagojevich, U.S. Senator Roland Burris and arguably state Senator Jesse Jackson Jr. scurrying from the light like a bunch of filthy roaches in a bathroom on Chicago’s West Side.



Well, it’s time to weigh in. Jessica Cook and JCO have been patiently waiting for this Blago thing to bottom out, and maybe it finally has. If President Obama represents the very best that Chicago has to offer, then Rod Blagojevich (Blago) is (currently), the worst. *

Warning: The following content may be considered offensive to our non Mid-Western readers.

Welcome to the Chi. (pronounced: SHY)

Offensive content includes:
• Profane Language used by both men and Women.
• Shockingly crass and self-serving behavior committed overtly by numerous elected officers of the Illinois State Government
• Bribery
• Perjury
• And overall Assholery

By now, the brilliant Blago plot to sell off President Obama’s vacated U.S. Senate seat to the highest bidder has notoriously spread around the world. It has spread not just by reporters foaming at the mouth over this made-for-tv-movie plot line, but due to his own absurd self-promotion and arrogant denials. I hear he is currently going door-to-door these days in an effort for a grassroots PR campaign, lest anyone forget him. But that’s a story for another day…**

“I’ve got this thing and it’s fucking golden, and, uh, uh, I’m just not giving it up for fuckin’ nothing. I’m not gonna do it. And, and I can always use it. It can parachute me there.”
-Blago

If you have otherwise been living under a rock since November, you are familiar with the scandal. Blago gets excited that he has a “golden ticket” to his political and financial future when Obama wins the presidency. He’s so excited, in fact, that he forgets the cardinal rule for all lawbreakers – do NOT discuss illegalities over your phone lines. Just his luck the Feds were tapping his line for other corruption charges when they hit the jackpot themselves and overhear not just Blago’s dirty mouth, but his Chief of Staff’s and that of his lovely wife Patty***.

"I apologize for the profanity...If I knew they were listening, I wouldn't have used those words."
-Blago

That this Senate seat is his to appoint to whomever he wishes is more power than the infamous Blago Helmet Head can withstand. Not only do he and his peeps troll for huge donations to his campaign fund, they threaten, intimidate and extort people all over town including Children’s Memorial Hospital**** and the Chicago Tribune.

“Our recommendation is fire all those fucking people, get ’em the fuck out of there and get us some editorial support.” Blago, in regards to The Chicago Tribune.

He aims to find his wife a lucrative lobbying job as well. He starts rounding up potential candidates, asking how much they can give. Why not another black Senator – that will make Illinois look good around the world, right? Let’s start calling Jesse Jackson, Jr. and talk to him OVER THE PHONE.

Blago even mentions that if he can’t find anyone to shell out enough dough to warrant the appointment, then he wouldn’t mind appointing himself to the open seat instead. Many of you who are not from Illinois may find this insane, but this is actually run of the mill political activity in these parts. Blago’s gubernatorial term would be up in a couple years – he’d need to keep his family in the style they’d become accustomed. Why not wield his power for himself instead of for the greater good of the state of Illinois? This is why he got elected and you didn’t. You must think like a cliché B-movie mobster to get anywhere in Illinois politics. They don’t call it “pay-to-play” for nothing.



(Advisor B and another consultant are believed to be on the call) they are telling him that he [Blago] has to “suck it up” for two years and do nothing and give this “motherfucker [President Obama] his senator”. To which Blago says, “ Fuck him. For nothing? Fuck him.”

Obviously, these wiretapped conversations (hundreds of pages long, most of which the Feds haven’t even released yet because they are saving the juicy stuff for the Blago Criminal Trial) are all just Taken Out of Context. We hear the Governor’s unmistakable voice ranting to his brother and others on the tapes that the open Senate seat is his alone to appoint, that he’s got “this thing” which is “f*ing golden and I’m not just going to give it away for nothing”. Yet, he claims that he is not a corrupt scum-sucker. In fact, he is a good, solid guy.

Blagojevich likened the current drama surrounding him "to a 21st Century Frank Capra movie... how the good guy was up against the establishment... But he stood firm for the people. That's what this is about."

What are the only steps you can take after the Feds arrest you and you’re “innocent”?

1. Refuse to step down from the governorship. Despite overwhelming calls from your peers, your constituents and the President himself.
2. Claim you are innocent. See upcoming media tour.
3. Hire a lawyer to cover your ass.

Check.
Check.
Check.

So, in an absolutely brilliant move, he hires R. Kelly’s Lawyers!
R. Kelly got off even with Video Tape Evidence. Surely, Blago can get off with just Audio Tape Evidence.

The problem he runs into here, though, is that in order for a lawyer to help his client, the client must listen and shut his mouth. Aye, there’s the rub. Instead, what does our genius Helmet Head do? Go on a whirlwind press junket and be a guest on almost every national talk show.

Ah, the media tour. He starts it off with an interview on the Today Show in which he appallingly compares himself to Nelson Mandela, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi.

"I thought about Mandela, Dr. King and Gandhi and tried to put some perspective to all this and that is what I am doing now." Blago, in regards to being taken from his home by Federal Agents at 6am on December 9, 2008.

As if late night pundits didn’t already have enough fodder. Please, please Blago, will you do your best Richard Nixon voice for me and say, “I am not a crook”?

Instead of heading these nation-wide cries for his head, he decides to hunker down and continue to go into work: to look for someone to sell the Senate Seat to. He talks to the media and is dropped by his magical lawyers. He does everything he’s not “supposed” to do. But, that’s not his fault – he only understands Illinois politics and not life on a grand scale, clearly. Poor little Helmet Head.

The Illinois legislature holds Blago’s impeachment trial during his press junket. Since he’s innocent, he doesn’t even show up.

“…it’s schoolyard justice when one kid hits another, but the kid that hit him wasn’t the one who did it and he’s got other boys he’d like to have tell the teacher he didn’t do it”

"Under these rules, I'm not getting a fair trial. They're just hanging me,"

"…it is a trampling of the constitution."
-Blago, referring to his trial

Since the gloves clearly fit, Blago is impeached. But not only that, these Illinoians know how his mind works, so they do the only thing they can think of to stop him: they ban Blago from Illinois politics for life.

This is one step too far for him. What is a politics lifer supposed to do to get the people of Illinois to return to his side? Continue ranting and raving! The impeachment and everything is all a plot to raise taxes in Illinois
(of course it is). Conspiracy! Ah, the plot thickens…


Be on the lookout for PART 2 of the continuing Blago saga when we return with the next installment on the ever comedic Roland Burris.
Coming Soon!

*Past “Worst Illinois Politician” position holders include, former governor George Ryan, Reverend Jesse Jackson, Mayors Richard R. and Richard M. Daley.

** Just recently Blagojevich bagged a book deal in which his literary agent describes he’ll “expose the ‘dark side of [Illinois] politics’”. If it’s anything like the wiretap evidence, it should be a real page-turner.

***Meet Patty Blagojevich, hardball political thug, via the criminal complaint in her hubby’s massive corruption scandal, page 44 (language warning), involving a deal the Tribune newspaper company wanted on behalf of the Cubs baseball team:
In another call between ROD BLAGOJEVICH and Deputy Governor A that occurred a short time later on November 3, 2008, ROD BLAGOJEVICH and Deputy Governor A discussed an editorial from the Chicago Tribune regarding the endorsement of Michael Madigan and calling for a committee to consider impeaching Blago.
During the call, Blago ‘s wife can be heard in the background telling ROD BLAGOJEVICH to tell Deputy Governor A “to hold up that fucking Cubs shit. . . fuck them.”
Blago asked Deputy Governor A what he thinks of his wife’s idea. Deputy Governor A stated that there is a part of what Blago’s wife said that he “agree[s] with.” Deputy Governor A told Blago that Tribune Owner will say that he does not have anything to do with the editorials, “but I would tell him, look, if you want to get your Cubs thing done get rid of this Tribune.” Later, Blago’s wife got on the phone and, during the continuing discussion of the critical Tribune editorials, stated that Tribune Owner can “just fire” the writers because Tribune Owner owns the Tribune. Blago’s wife stated that if Tribune Owner’s papers were hurting his business, Tribune Owner would do something about the editorial board. Blago then got back on the phone. Blago told Deputy Governor A to put together the articles in the Tribune that are on the topic of removing Blago from office and they will then have someone, like JOHN HARRIS, go to Tribune Owner and say, “We’ve got some decisions to make now.” Blago said that “someone should say, ‘get rid of those people.’”

****… the discussion turned to Children’s Memorial Hospital, and ROD BLAGOJEVICH told Individual A words to the effect of “I’m going to do $8 million for them. I want to get [Hospital Executive 1] for 50.” Individual A understood this to be a reference to a desire to obtain a $50,000 campaign contribution from Hospital Executive 1, the Chief Executive Officer of Children’s Memorial Hospital. Individual A said that he/she understood Blago ‘s reference to $8 million to relate to his recent commitment to obtain for Children’s Memorial Hospital $8 million in state funds through some type of pediatric care reimbursement. … Intercepted phone conversations between Blago and others indicate that Blago is contemplating rescinding his commitment of state funds to benefit Children’s Memorial Hospital because Hospital Executive 1 has not made a recent campaign contribution to Blago. From - http://www.thebigmoney.com/articles/juicy-bits/2008/12/09/wanna-buy-senate-seat